Call Myself a Writer?

October 19, 2009

I Don’t Feel Like Writin’ (The Procrastination Song)

I wrote this parody in July 2008 and posted it on Protagonize.com.
For best enjoyment put the song on in the background and sing along 🙂

(To the tune of ”I Don’t Feel Like Dancin”’ by the Scissor Sisters)

Wake up in the morning with my head sayin’, Get it done!
I’ve got the perfect story – I don’t need another one.
Ideas in my notebooks, (I’ve got six) so write it down

So how come I feel so lazy, and that makes me just frown?

So I sit on down and my laptop’s ready to go.
Today’s the day I’m gonna get it right.
You better know, whether fine or rain or snow,

I’m gonna get stuck in and start to write.

But I don’t feel like writin’ when the internet’s okay.
Explorer’s on the screen and I’d really rather play.
You think that I could easily muster up a line or two today,
But I don’t feel like writin’, no sir, no writin’, no way.

Don’t feel like writin’, writin’
When I can find somethin’ better to do.

Don’t feel like writin’, writin’

I’d prefer just to make me a brew.

Don’t feel like writin’, writin’

Rather be watching repeats of ”Have I Got News for You-oo-oo.”


Stories come and stories go, just like they always will

But all I do is change them round so they can fit the bill

I’ve got so many plotlines it’d make a reader so confused,

So why can’t I just write them when I’ve got nothin’ to lose?


So I’ll just pretend till it drives me round the bend

I’m gonna write them when I have the time.

Please understand, though I have time on my hands

When I do, I’m sure it will be fine.

But I don’t feel like writin’ when there are phone calls to make
I’ll just sit down and chat, maybe have some tea and cake.

You’d think that I could manage one small sentence, for goodness sake?
But I don’t feel like writin’, no sir, big, big, big mistake.

Don’t feel like writin’, writin’
When I can find somethin better to do.

Don’t feel like writin’, writin’

I’d prefer just to talk to you.

wash my hair with shampoo-oo-oo.

(middle eight)
You can’t make me write a word
Although I know it’s so absurd
Just sit me down
And see the paragraphs become all blurred.

But I don’t feel like writin’ when Big Brother’s on the box.
I’ll sit and watch TV, see those friendships on the rocks.

You’d think that I could find a way to cure my writer’s blocks,
But I don’t feel like writin’, no I’d rather darn some socks.

Don’t feel like writin’, writin’
When I can find somethin better to do.

Don’t feel like writin’, writin’

I’d prefer just to sit and feel blue

Don’t feel like writin’, writin’
If I put it off long enough I’ll believe it’s true-oo-oo!

 


September 29, 2009

The Church of Procrastinology: The Ten Commandments

Filed under: Just for Fun,Procrastination,Writing — trishtash @ 11:50 am
Tags: , ,

1. Thou Shalt Not Write
2. Thou Shalt Not Even Open Thy Word Processing Program
3. Thou Shalt Keep all Seven Procrastination Days Holy, by Frequently Visiting Facebook, Twiitter and MySpace
4. Honour Thy Games Sites and Thy YouTube
5. Thou Shalt Not Visit Writers’ Blogs (unless Thou then click on their YouTube links)
6. Thou Shalt Go and Make a Cup of Tea or Coffee Every Time Thou Thinkest of Writing
7. Thou Shalt Not Start Thy Own Blog (unless Thou Failest to Ever Update it.)
8. Thou Shalt Not Ever Jot Down Any Ideas In the Notebook Beside Thy Bed
9. Thou Shalt Worship the Lord Thy Jeremy Kyle and Watch His Show Faithfully
10. Thou Shalt Ignore Any Good Ideas Thou Begettest For Stories and Carry on Playing Tetris

(Thanks to Dulcinea Norton-Smith for the inspiration)

September 7, 2009

If I’m calling myself a writer…

Filed under: Uncategorized — trishtash @ 10:12 am
Tags: , , , ,

… I should be writing.  So why am I not writing?

I’m writing now, obviously.  I’m writing this.  Blogging is supposed to be a good way to get (back) into practice of writing daily, and that’s something I seem to have stopped doing just lately.

I joined Protagonize.com in May 2008 and for a while I wrote daily.  I wrote loads.  I was the first Protagonizer to get to Adventurer status (250 posts).  Then I did NaNoWriMo and wrote TWO novels in 30 days.  And then it all went wrong.

I posted less and less on Protagonize, despite frequent calls for me to add to my existing stories, like ‘Paddytum’, and ‘Waking Up With Henry’.

I’ve had little bursts of activity since then, but they’ve been woefully short-lived.  I’ve edited one of the novels I wrote, to publication standard (and I’m still not entirely happy with it, so I need to edit it again, until I am). I’ve written the odd short story – even had one accepted for publication by Wyvern Publications in their forthcoming anthology (Dragontales – due for release November 2009), and I’ve entered a few competitions.  I’ve even won one.  You’d think that would convince me that it’s what I should be doing.  But it hasn’t.  Not a bit of it.

I’m reading lots of writing blogs and writing articles, both online and in the writing magazines.  I’m always getting books on writing out of the library.  I read the first chapter or two then put them aside.  It’s as if I think I’ll get a sudden burst of inspiration and be jolted back into full writing mode again.

I know what I should be doing.  I should be sitting down at the keyboard or with one of my many notebooks and just… writing.  So why can’t I just do that?

There are plenty of things I could be working on:

  • Continue one of my Protagonize stories to novel length
  • Re-edit my Young Adult novel
  • Edit my Chick-Lit novel
  • Write a new short story for Wyvern’s next anthology
  • Write a short story for one of the other anthologies calling for submissions
  • Write a short story for one of the competitions I’ve seen advertised
  • Write a short story for submission to a magazine
  • Start a new novel… though I’m planning in doing NaNoWriMo again this year so perhaps I’ll wait for that.

Maybe it’s because there are so many choices I can’t settle on just one, so I end up doing something else, or just nothing, instead.  I went to my first ever Writers’ Conference in July, and I met people there who had been working on just one WIP for years.  I envied them.  I need to pick just one thing and stick to it – at least for a few days.

I really have no excuse.  My motor insurance policy gives my occupation as Writer.  So I should be writing.

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